happy days and a happy new year from me to you <3

Maybe, finally, someone up there has seen me and thought - its her turn, to feel good, to be loved and to love back.

Its been a cold, but yet, so warm and nice day. Im steel freezing from the cold winter weather we're having, but inside, its like spring. A seed is growing to become a rose.

Tomorrow its New years eve, and its gonna be celebrated like never before. Ill be downtown Copenhagen, like ive always wished for. Ill be there, with the loves of my life and we're gonna rock it like no one has ever before. 

And fuck my born-bad-luck, tomorrow, im getting my new years kiss at 00.00. End of story. I dont care how many miles i have to run, how high up i have to fly, or how deep down i have to swim. Ill get it. I just hope, the right person will be standing there, next to me, because i only have 60 seconds to make it happen. 

Peace and love.

Tomorrow is the last day of the worst year, but its also the beginning of the best. 

A thoughtful night

Looking into your eyes still hurts. Thats simply why, i just dont do it anymore. 

Walking past, is still as nerve-breaking as it was the first time. 

Taking your hand, holding it tight, upsets me, because i know - you will be gone the next second. 

But what kills me the most, is being there, watching you, doing what you once did to me, to another girl.

Im not what i come off as, i am so much more and so much less. But i guess, yet, no one seems to see me for that person. They see me, as the one, they think i am. And the one wish, that someone would win me over and convince me theres good ones out there - never seem to come true. I want the good ones, who can bring out the best in me. 

Someone who actually gets to know me, and not the girl from the pictures.

Its Christmas, santa got the list but God never heard my prayers.

A fabulous night at IN. One of those nights, only possible to experience at the one and only - IN. 

A night, filled with surprises - good ones, and less good ones. But i must say, many things got done last night, that have been unfinished for too long. 

After a great Christmas, with the perfect gifts under the tree there was only one more thing i could wish for. You.

Its funny how i always seem to get what i want in the end, everything but you. And i think that is what keeps me holding on. I cant let go of the one thing, im not done with. And it bugs the shit out of me. But its alright though, this fight just makes my life a little bit more interesting than it would be without it.

And i must say, revenge is the best feeling. Being there, doing that, knowing - youre feeling the exact same thing i felt when you betrayed me brings sunshine to any gray day.

 -Ill keep stamping with my feet, 

doing it all night long,

to a badass techno song... -

My feet hurts. But i do not, i reapeat, i do not regret last night.

What if its true, that old love never dies? Theres a connection, im feeling, to you. A connection i cant explain nor know where i it came from. My only guess, is that its leftovers from our past.

So, what to do when those feelings pop up once more. Knowing how it ended the last time, not knowing if its gonna be the same this time. Take a shot or not to take a shot,

thats the question.

Christmas dreams

Im going to Miami and im getting a tatto from Ami. For real. That guy is the hottest thing my eyes has ever faced. To bad, he lives on the other side of the fucking globe. Sucks for me. But maybe, santa likes me this year - i can always wish for a mini-Ami for Christmas. 

Less than a week from now we'll all be overdosed with gifts, food and jingle bells rock. I cant believe its already Christmas time. Im still in October in my head. This past months have passed by like a Ferrari on Autobahn. Thats another thing on my list btw. 

What a perfect Christmas Eve that would be,

imagine me in the passanger seat of a red Ferrari, driven by Ami himself. Or even better, me driving Ami. 

I live for today.

I dont know what tomorrow brings,

but i know what i have right now,

and what i had yesterday.

I live for the moments,

during the late nights,

i wont remember,

with the people ill never forget.

I live with what ive got,

i do what i want,

and i regret nothing.

I rather loose an opportunity,

to become great,

than loose a second of being it.

A love letter to the future

Finally, i woke up from my party-coma and got out of my house. But its been a busy weekend, for sure. Work and school, did not make it any easier. At least, its winter break next week, and when thats over ive got one more semester in school and im done. Ill be fucking graduating, running around in those white hats with my bad ass girls, ready to get out into the real world. And i got it all planned out. Im gonna go straight into business, working and studying at a university. Ill be rollin in the hottest car, living in the greatest apartment, doing my thing. No boys, none of that love-bullshit. Just me and my friends, making the world jealous.

Just like me and Giulyy did last night. Ill give anything up, for another night, just like the last ones. 

My theory is, the reason the last ones have been as great as they have - is because im not hitting clubs to look for you anymore. Now days, I hit them, because of me.

Not because of you.

We're riding those limos like you ride your bike.

Tired and drunk. The state of my mind, this moment, this second. But what a night at IN. That place never disappoints. Details, tomorrow. Now, im speechless, im dead, i need my beauty sleep. 

And by the way, 

That limoride, is something i could get used to. 

Im keeping myself busy. And im stressing myself out. But thats alright, as long as im busy

Its not human, to be up and around like this. Im just waiting for my body and brain to break down. Today, ive been awake, doing important things, since 6 a.m. Now, its 10 p.m and i just got back from work. Busy schedule, for sure. But i dont mind it, because a busy one will keep my thought off of that one thing im not allowed to think about.

And what a party week! Two birthdays, one military thing, huge party at IN, a dinner - actually two and lets not forget, Lucia.

Busy

busy

busy

All the years we've spend together. You and me, me and you. Forever and ever.

Pictures, to make us never forget what we once had, and what we do have.

And i just cant wait,

to spend the rest of my life,

right here - by your side,

forever. 

Making memories, to take with me,

down under the day i die.

I will always love you,

my very best friend.

Ida <3

Miracles do happen. Just not to me.

Last night, it hit me, like a star falling from the sky - right down on me. Im speechless, i dont know what to do. I cant sleep, i cant concentrate, im all rapped up. I feel sick, because i dont know what else to feel.

The charger connected to my phone, i turn it on.

I walk down the stairs to get something to eat,

while my teddy bear is vibrating,

but i hear nothing.

I go to work.

I come home.

Im thinking,

its time to unplug that charger.

And when i do,

i fall, a thousand miles under ground. 

And what about what i want?

Tomorrow is a day to remember. Its Monday, and for most of us, no big deal. But for me, its a big test waiting at 10.30 in school. And guess what, i havent even bothered to open my book yet. 

I have this theory though, if its a C i want, ill make it by just listening during class. I wont have to study, because a C is equal to basic knowledge - and basic knowledge is something you should get from just attending the class. 

This theory has never been tested, but tomorrow it will. Because im sick and tierd of spending time on homework, during my spare time - where im supposed to be doing whatever i like. 

Maybe i should become a politician. Fight for the right of relaxing, when your home. Ive never understood this whole homework thing, 

im in school 8 hours a day,

when i get home, i barely have time to eat,

because i always have homework with me home from school.

And i thought that grown-ups had a hard time.

Hah.

In my ass. 

When your working, at least, you get off work, whenever you get off.

You dont get out of school, until graduation.

Im home, and ive never felt better.

Confirmation, was exactly what i was looking for. One that told me, im good enough. I am what i am, and there's people out there who loves me for it. I needed to know that i was living my life to the fullest, and no matter what it would take - i was willing to give it up for that one, confirmation.

And now, i finally understand how a weekend, that is not filled with parties, still can be a great weekend. And i realize why i still feel satisfied from just watching tv a friday night, when i could be at a club rocking it. Its because im done. 

Ive reached my goal and now, theres nothing that attracts me at clubs, nothing but having fun with my friends. Theres no more, i need, i want, i must...

Im done with one night stands,

done with getting way to wasted, 

done with being the dumb blonde,

and the easy one.

And i guess, i was right from the start,

this is the phase that will lead me down the path, of growing up.

And its true, that one saying,

"You dont grow up,

until you've learned how to be a child"

And things start to fall into place

Really, ive got nothing to complain about. Ive got everything i need and a little more. I have the money, the family, the grades - you name it. But still, its just like something is missing. How about happiness? 

You know, there is nothing that piss me off more than people who takes you for granted. Who knows that you'll do just about anything for them. Those who predict how you're gonna go about something, and that you'll stand by their side. 

And there is nothing worse than people who dont know what they got until they loose it. Perhaps, someone who takes advantage of your kindness shares the number one trophy of the worst things. 

Think about it, 

and im sure you'll see,

that i dont like you that much as you might think.